Five Secrets of Super Successful People

What’s the difference between good and great?

Why are some people able to create super successful lives, while most of their peers hover near the mediocre middle?

As someone who’s spent a lifetime studying human behavior, I can tell you, success isn’t just about your level of education or your skills.  It’s about the mindset that you bring to everything, particularly your interactions with others.

The superstars of life don’t just behave differently; they think differently. To be clear, when I say superstar, I’m not just talking about monetary or career success.   I’m talking about success as a human being.

Because whether you’re trying to become a superstar parent or a superstar salesperson, the difference between success and failure always starts with mindset. Your own internal thought track sets the tone for all of your interactions.

Here are the five mindsets of life’s superstars:

1. Superstars hold two agendas in their mind at the same time.

Average people tend to approach their interactions with others focused exclusively on their own goals. Superstars, on the other hand, go into situations focused on their goals AND the goals of the other person. This seemingly nuanced difference in thinking is why superstars create better relationships and garner more support for just about everything they do.

2. Superstars can sit with uncertainty.

Mediocre performers want things to go according to their script. Whether it’s a sales call, a board meeting or a family reunion, they get anxious in the face of change and uncertainty.  Superstars, on the other hand, are more confident. They know that they’ll ultimately be to close the deal, make the presentation, or fill their plate in the buffet line, but they’re not attached to having it play out in a certain way. This keeps them from getting uneasy and makes them more fun and engaging to be around.

3. Superstars think backwards.

Many people approach their life thinking, “I have these problems or goals; how might my spouse, boss, parent, coworker or customer help me eliminate them, solve them or accomplish them?”  Superstars reverse it: they think, “I have this spouse, customer, coworker, parent or boss; how might I be helpful?”

4. Superstars define success differently.

Many people tend to view the people around them as helpers or obstacles. When describing others they often use words like supportive, helpful, uncooperative, gatekeeper, blocker or even competitive threat, defining others solely in the context of whether they’re going to help or hinder their own efforts.

Superstars have a different definition of success. Other people aren’t just a means to accomplish their goals; other people are their goal. They want to create success for everyone.

5. Superstars show up with love.

There are basically only two emotions: love and fear. They play out the same way at work as they do in our personal lives. Love expands; fear contracts.

Average people might not be quaking in their boots every minute of the day, but they spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not things will go their way. This unspoken fear creates an emotional wall between them and everyone they encounter.  Superstars have no such barrier. When they’re with you, they’re fully with you. They’re not distracted by unspoken angst, so they show up life with their heart and soul.

Mastering these mindsets isn’t easy.  But once you start thinking like a superstar, it’s only a matter of time before you become one.”