The Big Mistake People Make When They Negotiate

We were selling our house. The buyers wanted to play hardball negotiation.House Word Icon Showing House For Sale

We had agreed on a price, but they wanted us to throw in lots of extras, furniture, the clay pots on our front porch, rugs. We were OK with all of it, until it came to the fish tank.

Our then three-year-old daughter had a giant fish tank that she and her father had spent a year stocking and caring for.

It was the centerpiece item in our basement playroom, and the buyers wanted it.

It was probably worth about $500. They insisted that we leave it. We caved, they got the tank, and we had to break the news to a three-year-old that she was going to have to leave her fish behind.

Did they win?

Not exactly. They got the tank, but they created ill will amongst our neighbors before they even moved in.fishes

Because here’s the part they failed to consider: While they were playing hardball, we were updating our neighbors about the entire process.

The night of the big fish tank fiasco, we were at a neighborhood party.  The entire neighborhood weighed in on whether or not we should let them have it. The general consensus was to let it go.

One neighbor summed up the sentiment of the evening saying, “I know it would be a pain to move, but what kind of people try to take away a little girl’s fish?”

Which is how they’re known as, “The couple who stole Elizabeth’s fish.”  The neighbors were predisposed to dislike them before they had even met them.

They made a classic mistake; they thought they were conducting an impersonal negotiation. But for the buyers (us), and our team (our neighbors) it was completely personal.

There are two types of negotiation. The kind where you don’t care what kind of reputation you’re creating, like a hostage negotiation.  Once you get your hostages out, the tough guys storm in and throw the evil perp to the floor. You don’t care what the person on the other side of the negotiating table thinks about you or what they tell others.

The other kind of negotiation is when you’re negotiating prices and terms with people that you’re eventually going to have to work with.

Or in the case of our homebuyers, with people that are going to talk about how you behaved, and your reputation will precede you.

This happens in business all the time. A tough buyer pushes a salesperson to lower the price to the point where the vendor isn’t even sure they want the deal. Because the salesperson is invested, they start making concessions, promising their boss that they won’t have to provide extra services, cutting corners, etc.Time For A Rethink Means Change Strategy

The deal closes, but the customer who pushed too hard winds up getting the B player service team. No one is excited about having the account, there’s no innovation, no going the extra mile. Every time the customer calls they try to pass him off.

I’ve coached executive teams through negotiations of deals in the millions. Here are three techniques we use to increase success:

1.            Start by telling the other side, “I want this to be a win for you too,” and mean it.

2.            Leave something on the table the other side can brag about to their team.

3.            Don’t be a jerk. You are creating a reputation for yourself. Your life and your career are longer than this one deal.

102 thoughts on “The Big Mistake People Make When They Negotiate”

  1. As the sales agent, do your homework first. I had the unfortunate situation of purchasing my first house directly from a seller who did not do his homework, and under valued the sale price of his house. I quickly acted to present an offer and since it was my first house just requested that the window treatments stay, as they were building a new house and I was pretty sure they didn’t need them. At the closing, when the seller figured out that he undersold the house, he walked out and latter came back to close the deal. He then told the whole neighborhood that I was un unscrupulous realtor who stole the house from him. So I was the new neighbor with the bad reputation. I was shocked when we were snubbed one night at an outing and when I found out why I nicely corrected their understanding of who we were.

    The bad part for the seller was he was a predominant business man in the area. When the neighbors found out I knew absolutely nothing about the real estate industry, it made them wonder how good a business man he was.

    Keep it generous and go in informed.

  2. Did you tell them NO on the fish tank? Was the deal not going to close on whether they got the fish tank or not? If so, then it was not a good deal to begin with. Some people negotiate by asking for everything expecting that the seller will say NO to some of their demands. What was your part in this negotiation?

  3. I simply want to say I am just beginner to blogging and site-building and really savored this web page. Very likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You surely have outstanding writings. Thanks for sharing with us your blog.

  4. I simply want to tell you that I am newbie to blogging and site-building and actually savored your page. Most likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You absolutely have superb article content. With thanks for sharing with us your website page.

  5. Pingback: matrix 4x2
  6. Pingback: zap doctors
  7. Pingback: Shanilibman
  8. Pingback: Ag13 Battery
  9. Pingback: Eleanor Leibowitz
  10. Pingback: Elinor Leibowitz
  11. you’re actually a excellent webmaster. The website loading pace is incredible. It sort of feels that you are doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterwork. you’ve done a fantastic task in this topic!

  12. Pingback: Tech
  13. Pingback: jobs in nh
  14. Pingback: jobs nashua
  15. Pingback: Medical Expert
  16. Pingback: concord nh jobs
  17. Pingback: learn more today
  18. It is really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m satisfied that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  19. Pingback: garcinia camboga
  20. Pingback: click this video
  21. Pingback: Blooming tea
  22. Pingback: buy from taobao
  23. Pingback: frozen toys
  24. Pingback: remodel usa
  25. Pingback: Homepage
  26. Pingback: cheap jewelry
  27. Pingback: Magazine
  28. Pingback: CCTV
  29. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

  30. Pingback: Bed linen uk
  31. Pingback: handuk merah putih
  32. Pingback:
  33. Pingback: Excel
  34. Pingback: free games
  35. Pingback: mobile phone case
  36. Pingback: Buy Facebook Likes
  37. Pingback: click download now
  38. Hello there, simply was aware of your blog via Google, and found that it’s really informative. I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll be grateful should you proceed this in future. A lot of other folks can be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  39. Pingback: chalkboard marker
  40. Pingback: sketch pencils
  41. Pingback: Resell Rights
  42. Pingback: personal vaporizer
  43. Pingback: baby keepsake
  44. Pingback: need to make money
  45. Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I to find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I am hoping to offer one thing back and help others like you aided me.

  46. Pingback: Barge lights
  47. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

  48. hello!,I love your writing very much! percentage we communicate more about your post on AOL? I need a specialist in this space to solve my problem. Maybe that is you! Taking a look forward to look you.

  49. My husband and i have been absolutely happy that Albert managed to deal with his preliminary research out of the precious recommendations he had from your web page. It is now and again perplexing just to continually be giving for free key points that most people have been trying to sell. And now we do know we need the writer to give thanks to because of that. The entire explanations you have made, the simple site menu, the relationships your site help to create – it’s got mostly exceptional, and it is making our son and our family feel that that subject is fun, and that is very essential. Thanks for the whole thing!

  50. Pingback: White Hat Search
  51. Pingback: Link Pyramid
  52. fantastic post, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t notice this. You must continue your writing. I am confident, you have a great readers’ base already!

  53. I’ve been browsing online greater than three hours as of late, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is beautiful value sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the net will be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  54. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all folks you actually realize what you are speaking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my web site =). We may have a hyperlink exchange agreement among us!

  55. Whats up very nice website!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb .. I will bookmark your website and take the feeds additionally…I am satisfied to find so many helpful info here in the publish, we’d like work out more techniques on this regard, thanks for sharing.

  56. Pingback: Blue Coaster33
  57. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?

  58. I needed to compose you the tiny note to be able to give thanks the moment again on your amazing tips you have featured at this time. This is shockingly generous of you in giving extensively what some people could have marketed for an electronic book to generate some bucks for their own end, notably considering that you could possibly have done it if you ever desired. Those tips as well worked like a great way to understand that some people have similar zeal much like my very own to know the truth great deal more when considering this problem. I think there are lots of more fun situations in the future for folks who looked at your blog post.

  59. I’m very happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.

  60. Hey, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring¡K I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track! come on!

  61. I am glad for commenting to let you understand of the great discovery my daughter had checking your web site. She came to find plenty of things, which include what it is like to possess an awesome helping character to let men and women effortlessly have an understanding of some extremely tough topics. You truly exceeded readers’ expected results. Many thanks for offering the important, safe, informative and as well as unique tips about the topic to Mary.

  62. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable information to work on. You have done a formidable job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  63. Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, amazing blog!

  64. I simply desired to thank you very much once more. I’m not certain what I would have tried without the entire ways shared by you about that theme. It was before a scary matter in my view, nevertheless noticing this expert approach you resolved the issue made me to jump over delight. Extremely happier for this help and then expect you realize what a great job you have been getting into teaching the rest through your blog post. I am sure you have never come across any of us.

  65. hi!,I like your writing so so much! percentage we keep up a correspondence more approximately your article on AOL? I need an expert on this space to unravel my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking ahead to see you.

  66. Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely fantastic. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is actually a tremendous web site.

  67. I would like to show my thanks to this writer just for bailing me out of this difficulty. As a result of exploring throughout the search engines and obtaining ideas which are not pleasant, I believed my entire life was done. Living minus the answers to the problems you’ve fixed by way of your main blog post is a critical case, and the kind which could have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I hadn’t discovered your web page. Your own personal mastery and kindness in dealing with all the stuff was helpful. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t discovered such a step like this. It’s possible to at this point look ahead to my future. Thank you very much for the impressive and result oriented help. I will not hesitate to endorse the blog to any person who needs tips on this issue.

  68. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really loved surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing in your feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!

  69. I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to reach my goals. I absolutely enjoy reading all that is posted on your blog.Keep the posts coming. I enjoyed it!

  70. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

Comments are closed.