Dishing Dirt vs. DVR’s – The Big Debate for 08

Dishing Dirt vs. DVR’s – The Big Debate for 08

By Lisa Earle McLeod

What to do, what to do? Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16. Older sister Britney’s train wreck of a life gets wilder every day. And I have yet to make my New Year’s resolutions. This was going to be the year I gave up gossip. But how can I be expected to take the high road when the nightly news is as scandalous as the chatter overheard in the girls’ bathroom of a junior high school? I’ll refrain from commenting on the Spears scoop, except to say that, despite their super-size paychecks, these are two young girls we’re talking – and talking, and talking – about here. I shudder to think how my own daughters might fare if their lives included 18-hour work days, a business team depending on their perky perfection for an income stream and 24/7 stalkerazzi chronicling their every move. Oprah Winfrey may have the maturity to be the center of a media empire. But I’d be hard-pressed to find too many people under age 30 who wouldn’t implode from the pressure. So whaddaya say we give the Spears girls some much-needed space and start worrying about our own problems? Which brings me to my New Year’s resolutions: Trying to give up gossip altogether would probably be a big mistake. After all, you never know what the Donald, Rosie or Martha might do in the coming year, and the last thing I need is some silly resolution standing between me and dishing the dirt. Plus, I’m pretty sure 2008 will include at least one juicy scandal involving a high-profile sports or media star cheating on his wife, and I want to be sure I’m able to tell my husband just how many zeroes the cheater had to put on his settlement check. So with gossip off the table for 2008, I’m left with the old standbys: losing weight, getting more organized and being nicer to my husband and kids. I’ve tried these before and had some limited success. I’m no longer fat, just a bit chubby. You can now at least see my office floor. And my husband claims that the occasional kiss when he comes in the door is preferable to my previous greeting of asking him if he brought home dinner. Yet, despite these heady personal gains, it seems like everything I resolve to do gets undone so quickly I’m wondering if it’s even worth the effort to try. My file folders now sit in a well-organized cabinet but, one week without sorting the mail, and the office looks like a bill piata exploded. A teensy bit of screaming about “ALL THE STUPID SHOES” left in the doorway, and hubby and kids immediately re-cast me into my former role of family shrew. And encircling my once medium-sized waistline is the fleshy, floppy proof that eleven-and-a-half months of semi-frequent exercise can be completely obliterated by a two-week, non-stop, sugar, fat and alcohol fest. So, this year I’m setting the bar low. I’m resolving to only do things that can’t be undone. So far the list is pretty short. I’m going to watch more TV and be nicer to myself. Yep, that’s right, 2008 is the year that I firmly resolve to make the most of my DVR and cut myself some slack. I’m delighted to report that I have already achieved success. I spent the better part of the afternoon catching up on “Oprah” and “The Daily Show,” and then I took a nap. The beauty of this slacker system is that every hour I spend parked on my sofa is another hour I’m accomplishing my goal. And no matter how motivated I may get later in the year, even if I start doing upside down crunches or create world peace, nothing will ever undo all the aimless hours I’ve spent accomplishing absolutely nothing.

Lisa Earle McLeod is a nationally recognized speaker and the author of “Forget Perfect” and “Finding Grace When You Can’t Even Find Clean Underwear.” Contact her or join her interactive blog at .

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